Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The one that got away...and the one that wont go away

So this is a story in two unrelated parts...

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY

So you know how love/amor/lust/ whatever has this thing, where you always think of the one that got away. Sometimes you can be in another relationship and you may think of her...sometimes it just hits you and you think what a F up you are and how great things could have been.

Well the same holds true for spiders.

So I moved into my new place over the weekend and just as I opened the drawers .. I saw them... a GIANT MESSS of spiders...daddy long legs, Red ones, Black ones, mutant hybrids....all of them. Needless to say this FREAKED me out.

SO armed with DDT I cleaned and I sprayed, and I cleaned and I sprayed, and I cleaned and sprayed once more. However while I was cleaning there was this GIANT black spider...I smacked the mofo with shoe..and when i turned around he escaped...then I saw him chilling on my closet....and i sprayed him...and he disappeared into my clothes.

Later that night as I was about sleep..i see the mofo again...and I cant stop thinking about it...he kept me up till 3am trying to kill him. Each time I put on my clothes...crawl under the mosquito net...I see him...waiting, watching. So for the last few days...I shake out my clothes, shake out my shoes...empty my satchel and pack it up again...all cuz of the one that got a way. Sometimes I wake up at night think where he is...what he is doing...if its poisonous...when it will get me....and sometimes I feel a sliver of the spider web he weaves...

And as I am sure some of you with lost love ones can relate...its torture.

And as you star crossed lovers have said after years of meeting up randomly with the one that left you and got away

"Fuck you ...and fuck me for letting you live!" (kung fu chop!!)
-Star crossed lovers and spider killers everywhere

Cuz to day was the day I saw him...and i did what I had to do....I killed him.


THE ONE THAT WONT GO AWAY

This one is an actual person.

Over the weekend I was walking to work to get some stuff done...and I see her from a distance..

5'5, honey colored skin, angular face, overall fine. She is wearing this long skirt with a bikini top...kind of hoeish if you saw it in DC...but Maputo is by ocean..and its hot..perfectly understandable....right?

So anyway...I was walking behind her thinking this chick could def be a model...and how not creepy this is cuz my work is in the same direction (god surely looks out for those who work on the weekends).

Anyway maybe the world moves slow for fine girls cuz she was a slow walker...and as much as it pained me so...I gots to pass her cuz i gots to go earn my paper. So as I pass her the god that looks out for weekend workers smiles down upon me again ..as the honey colored skin girl (HCSG) says...

"uhmm Bon Dia??" (Hello ..literally good day)
Me: Uhmm Hi
HCSG: You from here?
Me: No I am from Eritrea
HCSG: Ok...what you do in Maputo
Me: I am actually going to work right now..I work for an NGO
HCSG: Work on sunday?! Why?
Me: Ohh just trying to catch up...actually this is my work here.
HCSG: Ok so maybe you can call me sometimes...
Me: (ohhh yeah i still got it) sure. (we exchange phone numbers)

So once my ego settles down...i start thinking..hmmm that was interesting. That was also too easy...I hope she is not a Ho. But why would I think that she was a nice girl...pretty...and friendly...damn if an American girl did that would I think the same?! No! So why here...why now...i need to have more faith in ppl.

Then 2 hrs later I get a call. HCSG is asking me what time I get off work. Maybe we can meet up at a bar near by or at her place. I tell her I am still working and maybe another time.

FUCK ...I just got picked up by a HO!

So later that night I get two more missed calls from HCSG. On Monday 5 missed calls.....and on tuesday 6 missed calls and the best text EVER...

"that loving gaze,
i need from you my heart seeks to live in you heart
keep smiling at me just like this..."

I couldnt stop laughing and thinking WTF when reading the text. Ohh well lesson learned dont give your number to a girl whose eye's light up when she finds out what you do for a living...no matter how fine she is.

I am out like your milk, after you have already poured yourself a bowl of cereal.
-A