We EXIST….expats that are either black or are African living/working in Africa. This normally should be a straight forward thinking with zero interesting points….alas the weird ass society that we live in has made it a hilarious hot mess. You can distinguish this hot mess through many of the ohhh too familiar scenes I have come accross in Moz….
1) The I love helping the poor Africans so much I can’t believe there are educated black folk
Ok that was harsh, but with great power comes great responsibility, and with you Masters degree comes my low tolerance for your ignorant a$$. If you will imagine (not really cuz it happens a lot)
Scene 1- Office, black international development worker doing his thang…until his boss comes in and it begins.
Boss: Hi Aman I would like you to meet Frank Sinatra from our Geneva office.
Frank.S: (in the worst accent possible..) Bom dia, muito pracer!!!
Me: (In my most American accent) Hi, nice to meet you my name is Aman.
Frank.S: Hello….Gusto Mozambique!
Me: Hehe me too…
(Hours later)
Frank.S: You speak English very well!
Me: I am American (well I am Eritrean, but wtf…I am now an American)
Frank.S: Ohhhh but you look very Mozambican!!! (meaning you are black)
Me: riiight....
2) The I only talk to white guys black girl
Scene 2- Neon lit café/bar called Dolce Vita (seriously life is a lil too dolce when u still use the neon lights in the day)...chillin with White friend, doing what men do at Bars…scopin..which eventually turns to casual convo with two girls
Girl 1- Where are you guys from?
Friend- I am Canadian but my Dad is Portuguese
Me: -I am from Eritrea (passing the usual where the hell is that convo), but I just came from the states
Girl 1- Nudges the slightly disappointed looking girl…"summin summin…es Americano!”
Girl2- Face says it all –I aint convinced bring out them papers!- as she watches a blond god go by
ahhh Dolce Vita, thanks for the reminder how dolce la vita really is.
3) The I don’t really talk to Mozambicans, and just hang out with the same people I used to in my own country, but now I am just doing it in an African country
Scene 2- Friends introducing friends at a bar
Me: Hi my name is Aman (being the only black person in a group of friends, when you are in a 99.9% black country is pretty weird)
Friends: Ohhh Hi
Me: Hey
Friends: Where are you from?
Me: Eritrea (again skipping the discussions on where the hell is that?)
Friends: Ohh but you have a very American accent
Me: Yeah I went to school in the states for the last decade or so
Friends: :) !!!! (We can be friends…hello AMERICAN!)
~
Who knows maybe living in America has made me hyper sensitive to race, and I just need to sit down and let the social oddities take their course…however the proactive person in me wants to write a scathing article on Foreign Affairs magazine or the Economist on black foreign aid workers. I guess that requires use of proper English and grammar…. le sigh...this world wasn’t made for ESL grads….
-I am out like a baby from the vagina (creativity is at a low point today) Payce!
