Creative lying...

now dont get your panties in a bunch; recently my lying has increased since I got a car. The reason...well I am in a habit of lying to govt. officials (in the states it was immigration-how long have u been out the country for?) and now in Moz its the Police. However, rather than the irritation I felt when lying to immigration, lying to Mozambican police is now one of my favorite past times-at least the past three times its happned.

To give you a bit of contextual background, people are often (not always) stopped for a bribe-not only in Moz, but in Kenya, Ethiopia, Guatemala, pretty, much most developing countries. Usually the po-pos try and find a half reasonable excuse for a bribe (seatbelts, license, windshield wipers, have you drank a beer, etc.)-that is when you have to use your creative thinking aka lying skills to see if you can get away with it...or at least provide an interesting story

Story#1-Dont mess with a Muslim brother!!!
Scene-Roomate and I coming from Rua de Arte-unfortunately a serious dosage of expats and bad dancing- lame night... until we get stopped by our friendly neighborhood bribe looking Policia, grrrreat

Police: License, Registration, and identification
Me: Ok
Police: Why is your friend not wearing a seat belt
Me: We just left a friends house-lie #1; but you know my friend is from Canada, they love rules so much, they cant get enough of them. You know and I know that they like wearing seat belts he just forgot. But honestly he LOVES seatbelts!-lie#2
Police: Ok...have you been drinking (clearly weirded out by me).
Me:Are you serious, look at my name! It says Aman(peace in Arabic)! You know I am muslim, and we do not drink, I am muslim. (insert serious face)-lie#3 (not really muslim)
Police: Ofcourse, yes we dont need to test you (what test??) but your friend here (who is not driving).
Me: Well he is not driving, but please he is from Canada!-clearly i must have been at least tipsy-
Police: Ok ...ok just leave....
Me: Ma'Sallama (goodbye in arabic)

Story#2 I hope he doesnt read english
Police: License and registration
Me: Pull out my expired american license (i am too lazy to get the international one)
Police: What license is this?
Me: Its an American International license -Lie#1
Police: No it is not
Me: Yes it is; see a lot of people were forging the international licenses like the ones you see, so you have to scan it to know that it is one, using the machine. We can go scan it at the police station if you have the scanner-lie#2
Police: It does not say international
Me: Pointing at the endorsements/organ donor section (which say none). See here is says No restrictions, which means I can drive anywhere. Lie#3
Police: Ok, drive slower next time

Story#3-no license, no id, just me and my bag of trix
Police: License and registration
Me: Ohh I forgot my license, and I forgot my documents as well
Police: Well........
Me: Its ok, lets go the embassy my dad is the Ambassador of Sudan (is there even a sudanese embassy here?!?!)-lie#1
Police: You are not driving a diplomatic car
Me: I know, it belongs to a friend. We can also go to the police station no problem, let me call my dads secretary and they can meet you there.
Police: What is your name (pretending to take it down)
Me: Aman Mubarak (name of my fav camel in Eritrea) Walad Abdulrahim
Police:....
Me:....
Police: Just go.


and that my friends is how its done. Please dont pay the bribe though, it just encourages them to stop more people for $ next time. If you are in the wrong either use your creative thinkning or demand to go to the police station, and do things the right way (yes I am a hypocrite....shooot i aint payin money).

I am out and about like a boy scout fising for some trout ...( rapping 101-everyone needs a hobby)