How to go from Immigrant to bonified American in 2 easy steps

1) Bend Over
2) Wait

Yeah immigration is hell, there is no way around it with its rules upon rules, upon forms upon forms, and fees upon fees. Since most immigrants are coming in under duress...its a pretty expensive process...i.e. to fill out the last form for naturalization was $685. Yep 2 PS3s and a game or so. The whole process prolly cost $5k-10k.
But yesterday I became an American...I am actually pretty proud of it, and also very relieved. America is an awesome place, and we take it fore granted how many ppl in the world would give a kidney to come and live here.

Anyway...i was not allowed to take a camera inside for a photo blogpost of the big day...but here are the highlights..

Judge asks ppl to call out their respective countries one by one...

Defiance
Random ppl: Korea, Jordan, China, Ethiopia, Korea, Guatemala, Ethiopia, Mexico, Ethiopia, Ethiopia, India, China, Philippines, Ethiopia,

Me: ERITREA!!!!!!! (followed by a lion roar--it mattered to me..got a few looks from the other Ethiopians...yep...thats how I roll)

Other interesting shout outs and happenings

Random Immigrant 1: Uyghur...Currently Colonized by CHINA! (damn)
Random Immigrant 2: Kurdistan..also known as North of IRAQ oppressed by Turkey (ok...)
Random Immigrant 3: STATELESSS!!!!! (i am assuming Palestine)

Later the judge told random immigrant 3 while doing the handshakes... you are no longer stateless you are now an American!!! Lol the look the random immigrant 3 gave him was a mix of ...man get the F outta here and maybe u can tell that to the millions of Palestinians on the Gaza strip.


Anyway, the weird thing is I dont feel American...nor after being in the motherland (Africa)...I dont feel African either.

When I first came, and in my college yrs...I claimed I was soo African...like me and Nelson Mandela were on PAR! I loved my country (Eritrea) and I loved my continent (Africa), and i loved me my diaspora Africans as well. I am telling u i thought these "Americans" dont know what this AfriCAN is alll about!!!!!

Then I got to Mozambique...and was thinking...uhmm what are u doing telling me internet banking takes two weeks to process?? You already have the systems its just a matter of signing up...and the internet is always there WTF?!?! Wait and you need govt. approval to transfer money?! What do you mean the letter from the govt is taking 3 weeks?? Yall are inefficient like ...like...OMG I AM TURNING INTO AN AMERICAN!!!!

I think my identity now will always be as an immigrant. The waiting lines for INS...the green card hassles...the visas..the confusion...the fear...the paranoia. It was there and amongst those people regardless if they were from India, China, Ghana, Pakistan, Urugauy etc. that I felt was where i belonged. I dont think I can fully ever reconcile my newfound Americaness....nor will i be that born and bred African.

I will miss my Immigration and Naturalization Services(INS) family....when our eyes met at whatever immigration service or process we were going through...we all new we were on the same boat.

Thats it for now....

I am out like my deportation nightmares..
PAYCE!