So as usual I left my personal life to last minute, tickets, buying gifts, removing $ from the bank account, and charging my ipod…all this was done on April 12th..as was my actual departure from Maputo.
What comedian was it…(warning-non PC moment)
“The only thing shorter than a Jew’s penis is a black man’s to do list”…lol its ok I thought it was funny.
Tickets and Vacation time
During the rush, I got discounted (-$300) tickets to DC, boss told me good things about my work so far, and boss said my 2 weeks in the states wont count against my holidays!!! So the fact that I didn’t by tix on time and procrastinated working out my official holiday vacation actually paid off!
Especially the latter part, cuz for some reason I had an irrational fear that my boss hated me. I would ponder during the work day why…how can I win her over…what can I do…where do I seek advice….am I not a nice guy…am I not efficient…...I MUST BE LOVED BY ALL!<--middle child syndrome
Gifts
So while haggling for souvenirs for my peeps in the states …NO I WONT PAY 50 MTCS ($1.2)….an economical vs. ethics thought crossed my mind;
“ is it wrong that I am haggling for every $1, to MAXIMIZE the amount of love I receive from those showered with gifts at the most ABSOLUTE MINIMUM COST to me?? “
Like I said it was just a thought…yes I got ur gift for 50cents…LOVE ME!!! <--middle child again.
South Africa
My first stop over is in South Africa. I get into the airport and it’s a bit le sad…why?? A RACK OF WHITE FOLK! Don’t get me wrong I like white folk they r cool peeps…this is racial disparity is normally cool when I travel to Western countries where the indigenous white folk are home grown and bread….however this be AFRICA FOOL aint no indigenous white folk!!
As I write I am at a pretty packed cafe in Johannesburg airport with about 30 ppl sitting here …and I am the only black person and the ONLY minority here. Wait…wait…an Indian dude just asked to sit with me…
I can read the anger in his eyes (AmanZman goes LIVE!)
Brown folk: May I share this table?? (Eyes say: NIGGA DO U BELIEVE THIS ?!)
Black Folk aka me: Yeah sure… (Eyes say: Aint this some BULL SHIT! And why all the servers black?!)
Brown folk: (to the waiter) I’ll have a coffee, black please (Eyes say: So I can count it as the third minority up in this bitch!)
Black Folk aka me: Same for me. (Eyes say: this is some surreal shit! Is there black folk waiting room or summin?)
Brown folk: (finishes coffee and gets up) Thanks. (Eyes say: $%#@! gotta go back to mother India)
Clock says- u just missed your boarding time by 10 minutes run nigga run!
-I made it (plane delayed from take off by 15 mins thanks to moi) …ppl on the plane were not too happy. Ohh well I am not happy the only black ppl at the airport are servers. So what else can u do but subject everyone else to colored ppls time (GOT THAT REBEL FEELING!-bob marley)..Martin Luther King would be proud of me J
Welcome to the USA
At last America mi amore.. how I missed you..jet lagged, hungry, torn and tattered I come to your warm embrace for the solace only developed countries can provide weary travelers. I am also coming through the great lady of NYC…”give me your hungry” she once said…ohhh how will you welcome me and embrace me in your bosom lady liberty?????
Immigration Officer: “Sir please move to waiting room number 2 for additional questioning”
F @#^@*&*!^#%!*&$ K YOU U HATEFUL BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (2.5 hrs of waiting and jet lag)
Some things never change…
i hate transferring in joburg airport for that very reason. that said, if that depresses you, you *never* want to fly out of george or port elizabeth. trust me on this.
ReplyDeleteDude, this post had me crine. I'm tellin' you, Indians be feelin' us! I don't know who can get angrier between the two.
ReplyDeleteOh yeh, US Immigration. I was randomly searched three times in a row flying into MIA. And with my tax money, too.
@Kwerkwere: Yeah Joburg airport is def not among the favs now, and A LOT of ppl were speaking Afrikaans. To be honest I didnt know it was that widely used, i thought it was only spoken at home or on the set of blood diamond. But my ignorance still doesnt make up for the lack of black folk.
ReplyDelete@ Fly Brother: Def Indians know where its at...alas even with our combined number of 2.5 (black coffee included) we still looked like we didnt belong there. I asked the immigration officer why i was selected cuz i have never been through a screening like this b4, he told me it was b/c I had never been selected. INS rule- Immmigrats = Security Threat till proven innocent/naturalized